Behind the
by: alondra del toro
Whether we’re talking about traditional dating methods or more modern methods such as with dating apps, it seems that our desire to optimize our self-presentation remains the same. I wanted to conduct a small survey/study to test out how Tinder users went about self-representation when creating their account and interacting with other users. So I decided to make my own Tinder to find out. I made an account and tried to choose some decent pictures of myself, and decided that I would be as honest as I could, so for my bio I put “Here for research purposes. No but really, I am.”
Cristian
My motivations are meeting beautiful women and that maybe my soon to be girlfriend is on this app. I hope to get a marriage out of this app.
At first I went into it with a different method and only swiped right on guys I was truly interested in and found attractive, and though I did get quite a bit of matches, I thought that for research purposes it would be best to do the matching as random as possible. So instead of swiping right based on looks I decided to swipe right every third profile, hoping to get as much of a randomized sample as possible. After getting some matches, some guys took my bio and used it as a way to flirt and say hello. Others seemed genuinely interested in participating in the survey and research. I began by asking what their motivations for using the app were and what they wanted to get out of it. Answers ranged from looking for new friends to searching for a good time to relationship seeking, and even to marriage.
Despite what their motivations were, most guys wanted to present themselves in a way that would show their desirability. I found 13 guys who I had matched with that agreed to do the small online interview with me on Tinder. Out of the 13 guys that I interviewed, 11 of them said that they wanted to choose profile pictures that would make them more desirable to others, and opted for pictures that they found made them look more attractive. There was one though, that specifically chose his first picture to be a very unattractive picture of himself, and stated that it was a way to show that he was a funny guy, and thought that if the person was willing to tap to see other pictures and then chose to swipe right, she would be worth the time. Another one said that he wanted pictures that could portray his personaliy.
Me personally, I chose pictures that represent who I actually am, and people can take from that. They either like me, or don’t. But I can for sure see other people only posting about themselves to attract what they want. I’ve seen it in profiles before.
Cody
Erving Goffman, and American sociologist, wrote a book in 1956 titled “The Presentation on Self in Everyday Life.” In it, he talked about face-to-face interactions in relationships and talked about a reciprocal influence on our actions when in each other’s physical presence. This is something that I wanted to find out more about and see whether it was still relevant to this day. I wanted to see if people thought about who they were hoping to match with in order to choose how to create their profiles. A couple of users said that they looked at profiles of people who they wanted to match with to find similar ways to present themselves in order to attract similar others. They then used these for their own self-representation in both pictures and bio.
One guy in particular said that when he first started he only had one picture of himself, but that after after having some bad luck with the girls he was matching with, he found a girl who looked just like what he was just what he was looking for, a travel junkie and an adventurer. Though they didn’t match, he said he took inspiration from her profile and decided that he would just be straightforward and say what he wanted. He wanted to find someone to travel the world with, so he made his bio “Looking for a girl to travel with.” He added pictures of himself in scenic landscapes or of nature and national parks that he’s visited. He said that he was hoping that others could easily see through his profile how much he loved nature and could find someone who loved it as much as himself to explore it with him. He is having many more matches that seem like potential traveling partners.
After talking to many guys about what went on behind the scenes of making a Tinder, it was easy to relate it to traditional face-to-face interactions in relationships. Overall, one of the main goals for a person is to self represent themselves in a way that is attractive to those whom they are aiming to attract, all while trying to keep authentic to themselves. Dating apps don’t change that, all it does is add a new medium in which to meet people and display yourself. Now that I have the app and a few propositions for lunches and dinners, I might give this dating thing a try.
References:
Goffman, E. (1956). The presentation of self in everyday life. Edinburgh, Scotland: Penguin Random House LLC.
Ward, J. (2016). Swiping, matching, chatting: Self-representation and self-disclosure on mobile dating apps. Human It. 13:2, 81-95.